TV-Free (ish) Summer

The TV makes a great babysitter, but is it really the kind of babysitter I would choose if I were hiring a real life person?  Would I hire a girl dressed in a princess dress who ignores her parents’ wishes and kisses boys she barely knows?  Nope.  Definitely not.  Would I hire a babysitter who says unkind words (you know the ones I mean: “stupid” and “dumb” and “shut up!”)  Nope, probably not.  I know there are lots of educational things on TV as well as some things that promote pretty good messages (I enjoy a good episode of Octonauts, the Magic School Bus, and Veggie Tales), but at the end of the day I would rather my kids learn by playing and doing and reading and talking to real people.  I’d rather them learn letters and numbers by spending time with me and using pen and paper and manipulatives they can touch and feel.  I would rather them interact with their siblings and friends and family.  I would rather them use their imagination and creativity.  I would rather them fight with each other a little bit so they can learn to work out their problems.

I promised myself at the start of summer that my kids would not spend their whole summer in front of a screen; but saying it and making it a reality are two different things.  I needed a plan – a 3-step plan.

Step 1: I wrote a “tentative” very loose schedule for our day. It is not ordered by the hour but by time blocks (morning routine, morning, lunch, afternoon, evening, bedtime). This is just to give the kids and I a general idea of the flow of our day.   Included in our schedule are things like “play with your sister,” “quiet time,” “lunch,” and “help mom with chores” among other things.

Step 2: Cheerful Chore Cards! I came up with these a while back after reading about them in a book (On Becoming PreSchool Wise).  I wrote down various chores on 3×5 cards that are age-appropriate for my girls (6 and 4).  Some of the things on the cards are daily tasks like “brush your teeth,” “make your bed,” “clean your room.” Other chores include things like “take out the recycle,” “laundry,” “clean the playroom,” “help with dishes,” etc… Sometimes I give them only one or two things to do.  Sometimes they get a whole stack of cards!  One of the cards says “see mom when you think you are finished” and another says “see mom for a treat.”  The treat card is not always included.  I only put it in occasionally because I want them to understand that doing chores is part of living in a family and helping out – not something you always get rewarded for.  I do however usually reward them for a good attitude using our other at-home reward system.

Step 3:  I made a “Things you must do before TV” list.  This list has 10 things on it that need to happen during the day before we resort to TV.  I don’t want TV to be their default as soon as they get bored.  When I created this list it was with the intention of keeping them from nagging me every five minutes about watching something.  My goal was to point them to the list so they could find some other things to do first. At first it wasn’t necessarily to not let them watch TV at all but to limit how much and what they watched; but the coolest thing happened! At the beginning when they would ask to watch TV I would direct them to the list.  They chose something from the list they wanted to do and went and did it.  As the day went on they were so immersed in the other things they were doing they actually never asked to watch TV the rest of the day.  This continued every day for a whole week.   We made it through week 1 of summer TV-free! After seeing how awesome it was it became a challenge for me to see if we could keep up the trend.  We have been going on several weeks now with no TV during the day Monday-Friday.  On Friday nights we have FMN (Family Movie Night), and then they are allowed to watch TV on Sat/Sun.

Step 4: Commit!  Ok, so this isn’t really a step, but it’s something I would be remiss to not mention.  You can have the best plan in the world, but if you don’t implement it or stay consistent it won’t work. Some days it would be easier to just say “go turn on the TV and be quiet,” but the benefits of not are so much greater. I am by no means saying that kids should never watch TV or you are a horrible mom, but I do believe that there needs to be balance and there need to be restrictions and limits.  I also think that there are so many better things our kids can be doing that will help them to have better people skills, learn conflict resolution, engage their minds, use their creative abilities, exercise their bodies, and get restorative rest (without a screen).

Some really cool things that I’ve seen happen so far this summer:

• My kids are actually playing with their plethora of toys! Yay!
• They are using their imagination. Yippee!
• They aren’t nagging me.  PTL!
• I can still get some things done during the day while they play and still have time to sit down and play with them myself! Love it!
• My 6-year old moved down from the top bunk, and they have been sleeping beside each other with side-by-side mattresses all summer. So sweet:)
• They are learning to be responsible and helpful.  Awesome!
• They are learning to work out and solve their own problems. Eek!
• FMN is so much more fun because they haven’t watched TV all week and now really look forward to this time together. Good times!
• My girls are getting along.  WooHoo!

The list could go on.  Just today I asked my 6-year old if she was excited to start school (which she LOVES) or if she liked summer better.  She told me liked this summer because she liked getting to spend time with her family. Win!  I remember when my husband and I were discussing getting pregnant for the second time, and I told him I really wanted another girl and for them to be close in age because I wanted them to be each other’s best friend. I had two sisters growing up, and we all shared a bedroom until I was a senior in high school.  We got along great for the most part and developed strong relationships that last to this day. It was something I wanted for my girls, and I really believe that sitting in front of a TV screen all day is not the way to make that happen. Yes, my house is extra messy these days with forts and tents and barbies and crayons and paper in almost every room, but my girls are forming bonds and learning things and creating memories they will carry for the rest of their lives.  And no TV can give them that.